1 favorite - Review in the list "Series" under "Coin locker kid reviews" (Alternative review) - Main issue review
On Bloomsday 2002, The New Shakespearean user "Patternculling" posted the now forever lost thread "How do you write an ending?"
Endings are hard! This was a valid question and people resonated in sharing their bizarroball ideas of what writing constitutes and how everyone should universally approach it. All the time, you see conflicting advice on everything in life, which on top of the minuteness and universal impracticality of things like "general field advice" , only serves to complicate this advice more. For interesting writing, you end up getting told to listen to all the music in the world, to diversify yourself as much as you can, just as you get told to not listen to any music, to not read any low-brow magazines, to avoid filth and rot, for you will become filth and rot. "and that's true, that's true, but that's not what I asked here. I just have a complicated story that could go lots of ways and I don't want to write a dissatisfactory ending for it. Is that something I should be considering? What organ should I be using when I'm writing nowadays?"
"Think with the mind, speak from the heart!"
"Love is all you need"
"It doesn't matter what you use so long as it feeeels right"
"Have you ever played...?"
Come a week past the post and it was... still kicking and breathing! Patternculling was actually mostly a Tony Hawk's Pro Skater player, "KINGOFDANETPLAY" and whatnot. Writing was a little sidehobby he used to occupy his mind when he didn't feel like playing (or more accurately, when his eyes wouldn't let him keep playing). Some of the people on that forum had published books, you know! How could he compete with them? Although in his mind, how could they compete with him in Foundry? How could any writing live up to the beautiful snow in Canada? Come winter's harvest the reapings of his netkids and web-bings would become less and less focused in writing and more and more on the 4th entry behind his netplay crownholding. "It kicks ass, dude."
PoRtCuLLiS, righteously, loved Pro Skater 4. He set up a website with videos for every goal for the 3rd and 4th games and even gaps! Do you know how hard it is to not only find every gap but compile a video together of all of them!? No easy task. The site received lots of praise, righteously, because nobody really likes GameFAQs guides unless the ASCII art is real pretty, so you've gotta get your leg up elsewhere on the web.
Well.
Almost everyone loved tonyhawkguide.com.
Current nowhere-to-be-found, previous Tony-Hawks-critic, even previous-er Saints-Row-aficionado Fl1ppy found all to hate on this website. Doesn't it just ruin the spirit of trying to discover how to do the goals and gaps by yourself? THPS4 alreaaaady went OUT OF BOARD $ OUT OF SCOPE by including a gap list, but an entire website? With videos!? It's like the game's being played for you! Fl1ppy didn't want this "atrocious and insulting display of a complete lack of understanding over what makes Tony Hawk's Tony Hawk's" to live any longer, and so he challenged PoRtCuLLiS on the basis that were he to lose he'd have to turn off his website permanently, "although previous harm would not be amended by this, it would just prevent future harm."
PoRtCuLLiS got bested.
The king of the netplay! The champion who had lived for so long, who had existed for so long. So many days and nights spent proving himself, spent NOT-HAVING-TO-CHASE-VALIDATION, for he ALREADY HAD IT. King of the netplay! King of the netplay! King of the netplay! He didn't like to say it, but he used to play other types of multiplayer games too, he just happened to be best at Pro Skater and incomparably less so at all others, so really, HE CAN'T NOT BE KING!!! And inbetween all this fear-feel and doubt over himself, over what constitutes someone righteous, the answer for his decade-old forum question finally clicked. Set to one of His prayers at a deafening level, he began crying and wringing out his body like the worms before him. It was all scary and new to him, it all looked wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong and wrong, but he could not bring himself to stop. He was proven right only a few minutes in, as his monitor exploded and all left behind was the reverse white behind it. Void enveloping. Void turning and creaking. Void growing its warmth. Adapting to new surroundings. Void enveloping.
PoRtCuLLiS only caught a small glimpse of the void before He was awarded wings. Flew away only somethrough out of his own accord. All left was a large river where his apartment used to be, for he picked the traveler path and no longer took to the fish in an aposiopesic end.
"Dear Fl1ppy, dear Shakespearean:
I will not return
But still you'll keep your head up
Everybody learns
The end is the end."
No comments:
Post a Comment