25. [The last, ever, for someone]
[Real contents redacted for the time being, and because I don't have access to this thing currently]
26-27. Leviathan interpretation
Unbeckoned reality's wrath as the newbound material.
$$
I am a weird foreign stranger to real talk. All I can bear to understand these days is the dialogue from the boy and lady in Oh, perispomenon!. All I really know nowadays is this Coin locker lens I constructed. I brought this onto myself. Regardless: It is ostensibly a weird point beyond reality where this inexperienced boy, and this older, wiser, further consumed lady, discuss their life and relation as it stood. I think this place in perspective is reminding me of the present as it stands. It is kind of similar to The absence of soil, air, and law., mostly by the end where the lady once again crumbles her veil and from it is revealed Devyn utilizing her to express something (boredom in absence, cassettes in perispomenon) "real."
In recent time I had to cut ties and burn away the rope from which I stood in some material form, from a due-lap of excess stress (typing all this is making me think of Duchamp, I'm not sure why although I'd appreciate his input at a time like this... Sélavy, save me...) all caused because I am too foolish, and new to this, and, above all, afraid. For a while I thought about giving in to this life I was being offered (described in some form on "- Traumagenic") but that must've been a year or two ago by now. It has all really been a lot, none of it feels particularly real, and neither of us have become better by the abandon and wreck of this ending. Similarly: In Memory of a boy (who doesn't exist.), the boy, who the lady can't find (as he has disappeared into her by this point in the album) speaks out to her, to give her his last bit of advice: "I will not return, but still you'll keep your head up. Everybody learns, the end is the end."
Even if the boy could magically come back as he seems to do in Empathica, this would not matter, for the boy would not be the same boy, the lady would not be the same lady, and the river in which his mom should be buried is not the same river (for it has seen a thousand new clouds and a thousand new fishes). It is understandably difficult to accept a farewell, it is understandably difficult to accept a disappearance. I have disappeared in the past, it was not an easy task and it hurt me deeply, as I'm sure it hurt my friends also, but these things happen for a reason...
$$
I remember when this was a normal blog, and I got to talk about Super Mario 64 and whatever album I was listening to at the time. Today someone tried introducing me to Leaving Xilent Trodden as though I did not know about it, and admittedly I did not connect the dots that "brone" and "brony" are two different things, but by the end we made amends and figured this way of life.
$$
i am your girl
and i will never forget you
and i will tell every person in your family
and i will make sure it all ends up okay
we will be great and in love together
we will love eachother together
you will never be alone again
i'll never be alone again
we were meant to be together
i was meant to be on this path with you
i was meant to end up on the ways with you
i was meant to lie still with you
i was meant to get off with you
at the same train stop
at the same bus stop
i was meant to open the key with you
to our same apartment
to our same house
to our home.
$$
i feel closer
i feel closer
i feel closer
i feel closer
at the helm
at the helm
at the helm
at the helm
i feel closer
i feel closer
i feel closer
i feel closer
at the helm
at the helm
at the helm
at the helm
closer
closer
closer
closer
(by the end)
( by the rend )
( at dawn )
( staring at the sun )
( holding my tea )
( spooning my gun )
( by the end )
( by the rend )
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